I am an introvert. Surprised? Well, I guess there are just a few people who know me really well. I can be very social, easy-going, enjoying myself in a merry company; I am a good presenter and often a natural and effective leader. Yet I am an introvert and a very clear one. That means: people and events do not energize me. More than that, they can be quite tiring even draining after a while. It is the inner world where introverts get their energy from and I know it all too well. Here at IUB life is so intense and in a way exposed. I often get this feeling of being drained. The bad thing is that sometimes it accumulates slowly as a growing shadow in the back of my mind, but there is always stuff to do, student government issues that need to be addressed, something has to be discussed, coordinated, directed, someone asks for advice, a helping hand is needed, a friend invites you for a tea, there’s a birthday get-together, and we wanted to watch that movie, remember? And so on and so forth. But I need to slow down, to stop for a while, to be by myself ESPECIALLY if things are not too good in my life in general. Solitude is my medicine, not trying to have fun on a party to forget about my problems.

Sometimes it happens very suddenly – I realize that I need to cut off the whole world. Log off from the messengers, shut the door, turn off the lights, light some candles, play my guitar, play computer games, go for a lonely walk, lay on the campus green and stare into the sky, write a diary, write a story, watch a movie – alone. The peace, the balance, the strength to carry on, the healing that I need – all of it I can find in my inner world. For sure, I talk about my problems with my friends – no one can cope with everything on his or her own. I take their advice and appreciate their support. But that’s an “extreme emergency” measure. And even that has to work its effect through quiet solitude, through isolation and self-healing.

But even when things are not too bad, I still need to spend quite some time by myself and time is a precious resource here. So don’t be surprise if I withdraw for a while. That just means the “battery” is low and I am off to re-charge it. Just let me be. Mission “Self-Healing” is in progress.